Falling Back Into Old Habits

Owen has been gone for a month, and I haven't heard from him since he left. I know that he went in hope of clearing his mind, waiting for the pieces to come back together, but wasn't I one of those pieces? Between Cali and Tulsa...I was the only constant.
A few people at Buck's quit lately, so Dallas has been busy picking up extra shifts. Between his work schedule and my school, I hardly see him. There's still the rest of the gang... but they're usually so busy with their own lives that I don't bother burdening them with mine. I was tired of the same old thing day by day. Wake up. Go to school. Come home. Do homework. Go to bed. That was the gist of it anyway, toss in eating and bathing and that's about as detailed as it got. Audrey ventured into Cali with Owen and only God knows where Scarlett's been, and only God cares. I was alone in my house most of the time, which was exactly how I felt.....completely alone.
I woke up one morning, not giving much thought to it, because I knew the more I thought about it, the more likely I wouldn't go. I had hardly warned myself when I started packing a bag with a week's worth of necessities.
I found Dal behind the bar at Buck's, his usual post.
      "I'm going to California." I said.
      "Why?" he looked confused.
      "I haven't heard from Owen in a month. I'm so bored here Dal...you're working, everyone's busy with      school and stuff. I'll only be there a week at the most. I promise." I maintained a very serious look on my face.
      "Alright babe. Do what you gotta. Call me when you get there alright?" He planted a soft kiss on my lips before I turned and left.

   You'd think after feeling so alone, I'd want to find a raging party at the mansion in Cali. But I was overjoyed to find it completely empty. It didn't appear that Owen had been there much, not that he ever was when we lived there. I immediately went into my mom's room. I had been meaning to get some of her things for a while now, just some keepsakes. I went through her jewelry box, collecting my favorite pieces, until I heard something behind me. I spun around and found my father, half drunk, staring at me in bewilderment.
      "When did you get into town?" He said in his usual cynical tone. 
      "Since when did you give a shit?" I spat. He noticed the collection of jewelry I cradled in my palm.
      "What are you doing with those?" His voice raised.
      "They were mom's. I want them." I explained calmly.
      "I didn't say you could take those." A stern look played across his face.
      "Funny...I don't remember asking." I tucked the jewelry in my jeans pocket and turned to leave when he forcefully grabbed my arm.
      "I didn't say you could take those." He looked into my eyes, shouting.
      "Don't fucking touch me." I screamed and tried to pull away, until I felt the sting of his palm colliding with my cheek. I reached into my back pocket and flipped out my switchblade, holding it firmly in his direction.
      "I said don't fucking touch me!" My voice raising even louder. I felt like I could have cut him to pieces then and there, but what good would that do me? So I left, and headed to the only place I knew I could go: the clubhouse.
      I pulled up on the compound in the black mustang that I took from our collection of cars in the garage. There weren't many cycles there so I figured the guys were out on business somewhere. Even Gemma was gone. I found the bedroom and collapsed on the bed. It didn't take long before I drifted off into the most peaceful sleep that I'd had in a long time.
It had only felt like minutes when my eyes blinked open and found that playful smirk that I knew all too well.
      "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I said softly.
      "I should ask you the same thing." he answered.
      "I came to see Owen." I said.
      "Sure you did." He winked at me, and I playfully hit him.
      I sighed and tugged on his shirt, "Don't you wear anything other than plaid?" I commented, remembering that the little Jax did have in his closet was mostly plaid, and I really never understood why.
      "If you don't like it I'll just take it off then." The second smirk really made me get up, because I knew what typically followed if there was a third one. I squinted and stretched as my eyes adjusted to the lighting in the clubhouse. I immediately found Owen, who was very surprised to see me, and threw my arms around him, squeezing him tightly.
      "I missed you." I said. "Why haven't you called?"
      "Oh you know Rhy...busy with club stuff." I noticed he was wearing his old cut.
      I cocked my head to the side, "When did you get your patch back?" I asked sternly, glancing over at Gemma who just shrugged. I knew she was part of it. She would do anything to get Owen and me back in her life, and she finally found a start.
     "Are you just gonna stand over there all night or are you gonna get your wee ass over here and give me a hug?" That Irish accent rung loudly through the air and I couldn't help but smile. I turned, shaking my head.
      "Hey Chibbs!" He instantly had me in a hug, and I kissed his cheek just before he released me.
      "Where's my kiss?" I heard beside me.
      "Oh Tiggy." I said, playfully punching him on the cheek. He caught my hand and kissed the top of it.
      "It's good to see you Rhyan." He said.
The doors slammed behind me and I turned to see some girl standing there in low cut shorts that nearly revealed her ass cheeks, a very tight lace tank top, and a pair of combat boots, with makeup so dark on her face you could barely see her eyes in the shadows of the clubhouse. Her hair hung sloppy over her shoulders. The first name that flashed through my mind was Lillah's, but as I looked closer, I noticed that it was Audrey.
      "Audrey?" I almost didn't believe it, the name didn't fit the Audrey that I knew.
      "Hey Rhyan." She said, before planting a hug on me. I was too shocked to hug her back, but I didn't hug strangers anyway, and there was no way that I was acquainted with this Audrey that stood before me.

The Sons threw one of their usual parties that night, but I decided to hide back in the bedroom not wanting to be mistaken for one of the trashy whores that usually show up. It didn't take long for that lonely feeling to overtake me again. I had called Dallas about five times since I arrived here, but he never answered, I guess he was busy with work. I decided to surf through my laptop when I heard a knock at the door.
     "Come in." I said, with a pretty accurate idea of who it might be.
     "Where's your plaid?" I asked, noticing his change into the navy blue hoodie.
     "Thought I'd change it up." He said, before sitting on the bed next to me. "What happened there?" My hand met the rising hot spot on my cheek. I had forgotten all about the encounter with my dad earlier.
      "Just a run in with my dad." I said.
      It heated him up instantly, "your dad hit you?" his voice rising.
      "Don't even think about it." My eyes met his, in all seriousness. Though I wasn't at all opposed to the Sons meeting up with my dad in a dark alley somewhere.
      "So...." I was trying to keep him busy with conversation. "Audrey seems to fit in well." I said as negative as possible.
      "I sense some tension there." Jax looked intrigued.
      "I don't like her hanging out here. This isn't who she is." I said, covering up the deep reason.
      "She's not going to take your place Rhyan." He said, knowing exactly what I was thinking.
      "Sure looks like shes trying." I glanced over at him.
     "You know she can't do that, no matter how hard she tries." I expected him to smirk again, but he was very serious. "So what's the real reason you came up here?"
      "I just felt too alone there. No one's at the house, my friend's are all busy.." I made sure to purposely leave out Dal.
      "What about your boyfriend?"
      I rolled my eyes. "He's busy with work I guess......I just hate being all alone, ya know? None of my friends back in Tulsa understand what goes on here, what's going on with Owen...I just feel like I can't talk to anyone." Before I knew it I tossed the laptop aside and rolled over to face him. "I'm so sick of the same old shit ya know? When does life get interesting? When does it get easier?" I confessed.
      "It doesn't." He replied. Which wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for. "You take what you get, and you suck it."
I laughed.
      "There it is..." he said. I looked up at him puzzled, unaware of what he was referring to. "If there was one thing I've missed about you...it was your laugh." He smiled down at me. I knew what I was doing, it didn't just happen, but he was there when no one else was, and in that moment I needed him.
My fingers played with his hair, pulling his lips to mine. He was in no rush, and neither was I. It was slow and passionate. I eventually found our bare skin touching. His hands moved slowly and softly over my skin, as I gently moaned into him. It was so natural, like we had never stopped, so easy to give into the the old feelings, the routine ways.
      The next morning I rolled over to find a note, explaining that the club had to leave early on business and that he wasn't trying to skip out. I had slept later than expected and by the time I took a shower and ate breakfast, the club was already back. I was fed up with Audrey. I had no idea what type of game she was playing, what sort of act she thought she was the star of, but we both knew that this badass role was way above her acting skills, and I was sick of it. She wasn't fooling anyone. The club gathered around to drink and chat when I noticed her flaunting herself at Jax in the corner, and that snapped something inside of me.
      "You're not fooling anybody." I was unaware that I had actually shouted across the room, and everyone grew still, glaring at me.
      "What the fuck are you talking about?" She looked confused, but I saw through that act too.
      "What the hell happened to Audrey? Cause I don't like this trashy skank." I gestured to her appearance.
      "Excuse me?" Her stilettos clacked against the hard wood floor as she made her way closer to me.
      "Lay off." I nodded in Jax's direction.
      Audrey smiled a devilish smile. "Why? It's not like hes claimed." she licked her lips in a vulgar gesture before turning back to him.
      Without thinking I shoved her halfway across the room shouting, "He's mine!" the words dawned on me as they escaped my mouth. I hadn't realized what I was saying until I had said it.
      Her eyes narrowed. "Does Dallas know that?'
I could feel heat rising in my cheeks, spilling out hot tears down my face. I wanted to hit her so badly, just like I did Lillah....but instead, I turned and walked out of the clubhouse.
              



  

Unmemorable Memories

   I peeled out of the driveway in my bright red 67' Chevelle. I knew he'd be at Buck's by now, working the night shift. I sped down the highway, the night sky closed in around me, fog creeping up in the distance. I don't care if he cheated, I still have to tell him that I love him. Headlights peered over the horizon, reaching me all too quickly. By the time my foot reached the brake, it was too late, and the darkness overtook me.
   My eyes blinked open as my surroundings were made clear. The bright lighting caused my head to pound. I moved my left arm and immediately froze, cursing so loud I'm sure the whole hospital heard. I hadn't even noticed there was someone next to me until she reached out and touched my other arm.
     "Carefully baby. You broke your collar bone." Her face instantly warmed me.
     "Gemma?" I was surprised to see her.
     "Don't worry, I came alone." She smiled, stroking my hair. "Do you remember anything?"
I replayed the events of last night through my head.
     "Someone hit me?" I questioned more so than stated. She nodded.
     "Rhyan...Owen is the one who hit you." She said.
My breathing stopped and I was frozen again. My own brother was the very reason I was lying in a hospital bed. He had to have been drunk, or heavily medicated. He was driving on the wrong side of the road for Christ's sake. My death could have been a likely possibility.
     "Is he okay?" I asked, concerned.
     "We don't know. He hasn't woken up yet."
We sat in silence for a moment, dwelling in the possibilities.
     "How did you know about the accident?" I knew that no one in the gang would think to talk to someone from California if anything were to happen to Owen or me.
     "I'm listed as your emergency contact." She answered.
     "My head is pounding." I squinted.
     "I'll get the doc." Gemma left the room and returned a moment later with Dr. Winston.
     "You're lucky Rhyan, this could have been a lot worse." He informed.
     "Well, I don't feel very lucky." I said, referring to the ache in my body that made me feel like puking. He glanced over the chart in his hand. "That's because you broke the left side of your collar bone, hence the sling" He pointed to my arm. "hyperextention, also known as whiplash, so you will be experiencing headaches for a while, and you have an enlarged spleen, so you're going to have to take it easy for a while, but it looks like you're going to be just fine."
     I sighed. "Can I see my brother?"
I was taken down the hallway in a wheel chair and left alone with the slumped body that looked like my brother hooked up to multiple beeping machines. I stared at him for the longest time.
     "You idiot." I shook my head and sighed. "Dammit Owen!" My voice rose, as I punched him in tha arma s hard as I could, with tears trickling down my face. After what felt like hours of sitting there mad and scared, Gemma took me back to my room. I had an empty ache inside my chest ever since I woke up and hadn't seen him there. I entered the room and my eyes fell upon that smirk, soothing my aching chest.
     "Dallas!" He was at my side in an instant, kneeling down by my chair.
     "Rhyan I didn't cheat on you, it was all Scarlet I swear..."
     "I know." I said softly, braking his word vomit. "I don't care, I just need you here." He gently kissed me.
     "Let's get you back to bed." Gemma started to help me from the wheel chair when Dallas interrupted.
     "I'll do it." He carefully lifted me from the chair and tucked me back into bed. "Where were you going at three in the morning?" he asked.
     "I was on my way to see you." His mouth twisted.
     "I'm gonna kill the son-of-a-bitch who did this to you Rhy."
I started to laugh, but when it brought pain to every inch of my body I awkwardly stopped and addressed the look of confusion playing on his face.
     "Owen is the one who hit me Dal." My response instantly snapped that darkness within him.
     "Are you shitting me?" That fucking bastard." His knuckles turned white from squeezing the bed rail so tightly.

   I was able to go home three days later. Dallas took off work, refusing to leave me alone with Scarlett. He helped me shower, get dressed, and attempted to do my hair and cook my meals. Gemma spent most of the time at the hospital with Owen.
   The minute that Owen walked through the front door, Dal went swinging, and Gemma had it out with him. When I got the news that the last year of Owen's life was absent from his memory, I was heart broken. As far as he knew he was still in Cali with the Sons, the very thing I wanted him to escape. And regardless of his opinion, I knew that he had made progress without them. Our friends and our life here in Tulsa no longer existed to him. When he and Gemma discussed his best option, I didn't like it one bit.

   I laid in my bed next to Dal that night. I needed to tell him was I was going to tell him right before the accident, regardless if he felt the same way or not.
     "So, how'd my car turn out?" I was afraid to ask.
     Dal shook his head, "I'm afraid even Soda couldn't save it."
     "Damn!" I said, followed by a moment of silence."Thank you for taking care of me..."
     He smirked. "What kind of guy would I be if I didn;t care for my injured girlfriend?" he joked.
     "A guy like Dallas Winston." I laughed.
     "Yeah. You're messing with my rep kid." He said.
     Then all seriousness took me. "Dal, I wasn't coming to talk you about Scarlett that night." He looked intrigued.
     "I was coming to tell you something..."
     "Tell me what?"
I hesitated, but forced the word out of my mouth.
     "I love you Dal."

Chasing Pavements

   That last day of school hung in the air like a dark cloud. It was like those awkward break ups that leave the other person wondering why. Most teenager would be thrilled that the last week of school was canceled, but the circumstances left more of a horrific impression than a positive one. Once Pony was in recovery I thought it was good to pay him a visit. Besides Jelly and Audrey, Pony and I were the only ones in the gang who faced any immediate danger, and I was so thankful that everyone made it out okay.
     "How you doin Pones?" I asked, handing him the string to the Pony-shaped get well balloon I happened to come by at the store.
     "I'm alright. It could be worse." He said.
     "Got that right. Did you happen to recognize who it was?" I ended the sentence with a heavy note, making sure it would linger.
     "If I did I can't remember...PTSD or something." He answered. "Could be a soc.."
     I shook my head, "I don't think it was a soc, he shot and killed of them in my class."
     Pony's eyes darted to mine. "You saw them?"
     "Yeah, three of them barged right in, in the middle of Gatsby. Had a gun pointed at Jelly, Audrey, and I, till the cops interrupted." A shiver ran through my body.
     "I had no idea anyone else was affected." He sounded surprised.
     I shrugged. "The important thing is that we're all okay and you focus on getting better." I gave him a quick friendly kiss on the cheek before leaving.

   I entered the house with the relief that Dallas was waiting for me. He's been my light while I've wondered in the past few months of darkness, and his presence alone made me feel aglow. With my recent near death experience, I told myself that I wasn't going to waste any more time. I had to tell him exactly how I felt about him.  I headed upstairs to my room, but when I opened the door I saw that Dallas wasn't alone. He had Scarlett pressed up against the wall with his pants unbuckled and holding her hands intensely. My purse and keys dropped to the floor as I stumbled over them and down the stairs. I heard foot steps chasing after me, as well as my name being shouted repeatedly, but it was all drowning out. I was out the front door and sprinting so hard I was sure to stumble over my own feet. You knew it was coming Rhyan. You knew what you were getting yourself into that first night when he saved you from the lake. Are you really that surprised? Are you really that stupid? Honestly, I'm surprised he lasted this long, it was just a matter of time. I couldn't stop the wave of thoughts that came crashing over me, nor the tears that escaped down my cheeks. I ran as hard as I could, until my legs gave out and I was crumpled up on the deck sitting on the lake out past the train tracks. My lungs burned, at least I think it was my lungs, it was hard to differentiate between that and the breaking of my heart. You knew he didn't love you. He's Dallas Winston...sleazy and easy, with a hatred for everything and everyone. Why would you be any different? You're just a stupid girl. I couldn't keep the thoughts from running through my head. They forced their way in like a poison, until I couldn't take it anymore and coughed my guts up on the deck. I didn't know what to do, or where to go, or who to talk to, so I did the only thing I could during in times like this. I danced. When I had no one and nothing to pour my heart into, I poured it in to dancing. I had been a dancer ever since that first day of ballet class when I was four years old. My mom loved to watch me dance, it was her most favorite thing. Of course now, I wasn't that little ballet girl, I took classes all the time in Cali. I had professional one-on-one dance instructors. I even competed in a few competitions, and was part of many recitals. Dancing was always there whenever and where ever I needed it. I could hear the music in my head as my body moved about rhythmically. About an hour passed till I finally calmed down enough to think straight. I paced back home, letting off the last of my steam. I was hurt, pissed, and frustrated to no end. I wanted to beat the shit out of that bitch that I'm forced to call family. I wanted to leave a nasty mark on the side of Dallas's face, giving him a taste of the pain that I was feeling. But most of all, I wanted to know why. I peeled out of the driveway in my bright red 67' Chevelle. I knew he'd be at Buck's by now, working the night shift. I sped down the highway. The night sky closed in around me, and fog crept up in the distance. I don't care if he cheated, I still have to tell him that I love him.                

Just Your Typical Monday

   Five days left. That's it, just five days of school and then we're out for the summer.
   It was like any other Monday. Scarlet and I car-pooled with Audrey, Dawn, and Blair, stuffing our mouths with donuts before peeling into the parking lot.
     Dawn sighed, "Just five more days and then we're rid of this shit hole for three glorious months." I threw my backpack over my shoulder and walked to class. I struggled staying awake through first and second period, but after drooling on my algebra quiz I decided that I was going to have to set some new limits for the next school year.
   "Miss your coffee this morning Thatcher?" Kitty slapped me on the back as she glanced over the answers bubbled in on my quiz.
   "I think I'm gonna have to tell Dal sex on weekends only." I said, yawning.
   "Yeah, good luck with that." Kit smirked.
   
     By the time English had begun my brain was already in sleep mode, which was okay since all we were doing was reading "The Great Gatsby". I followed along, taking in 0% of the words that flashed across my vision. Suddenly, a sharp *bang* pierced the air, coming from the hallway. Everyone's heads shot up, looking around in confusion. Then we heard another, and another. I glanced over at Audrey and Jelly, the noise ringing in my ears. The classroom was in an uproar as students stood to their feet, shoving desks to the side and stumbling to the corners of the room. The teacher was in a hushed panic as she locked the door and turned off the lights, hushing us in the process. We were officially in lock down. I was huddled behind a few desks with Audrey and Jels. Audrey reached down and squeezed my hand. I was trying my best to stay calm. My heart was beating a million times a second and I swear I could see it pop in and out of my chest. I began to think of everyone I knew in the school... okay, Pony and Curly are two halls over in math class. Kit, Bree and Maddie should be in gym...Scarlett and Blair are on the other side of the school, and Dawn, Johnny, and Steve should be down the hall in U.S. History. But are they okay? What if they're not? And who the hell is shooting up the school? Tears filled my eyes. Perhaps one of the last horrors I had ever pictured myself in was now alive and taking place before me. I heard the door knob jiggle as every student's head turned and faced that direction. Everyone's breath caught as if time literally had stood still. After a moment, the noise stopped, everyone's shoulders dropped in relief, but the sound of shattering glass broke the haunting silence as someone busted through the narrow window in the door, and in an instant there were three armed guys entering the room. I cupped my hand over my mouth to keep from screaming. The masked men glanced around, until one pair of eyes fell upon us. He started towards us, but was interrupted by a fellow student who threw his fist into the guys stomach. One of the other masked men responded by releasing two bullets into the student's head. His body crumpled to the floor, a pool of blood growing from it. I couldn't move, I couldn't even look away. I was sure my heart had even stopped beating. He then proceeded in approaching us, pointing a gun in our general direction. I had no idea who lay at center target, and I didn't dare look. I stared at the floor as sobs broke from my throat. What would provoke someone to shoot up a school, to send their friends, teachers, and classmates into such a darkness..fighting for their lives? And why us? This couldn't be the end. I couldn't leave Owen with no real family, and leaving Dallas for a week was torture, what would my death do to him? His face flooded my thoughts. Did he know that I loved him? I had never actually said it, but I feel it every day when I am with him, and even when we are apart. A strong authoritative voice filled the room.
     "Put the gun down!"
I looked up to see a policeman pointing a firearm at the armed stranger standing before me. After a moment more of convincing, he eventually lowered his gun. It looked like the entire Tulsa police force was in my English classroom. About half an hour later we were instructed through the intercom to leave the building. I glanced over at Audrey and Jelly, their bodies still shaking. We found ourselves in a group hug that seemed to last forever, yet not long enough.
   I placed my phone and other belongings I was wearing in the plastic bucket before being searched with the metal detector. I glanced around at the faces that crowded the courtyard. Faces of horror, pain, and all out fear wore upon them. People were hugging their friends and parents who had heard of the tragedy. My vision caught on the familiar faces that lined the other side of the police tape at the end of the parking lot. I burst into a sprint, my feet pressing hard against the pavement until I hit him like a brick wall, my arms wrapping around him. I felt the tension in his body release, as a wave of relief came over him.
     "Are you okay?" he asked. I pulled away so I could look at him, something I thought I may never be able to do again.
     I nodded. "I'm fine." I reached over to hug Owen, thankful that I was alive to do so. Audrey and Jelly had reached us, hugging just about everyone they could. They rest of the gang had heard about the incident on the news and the radio, and then they all came running. We turned to watch the front doors, in hope that everyone we knew would appear through them. I cried as each one of them emerged safe and sound. All of the worry had lifted off of me, until Darry spoke up.
     "Where is Ponyboy?"    

Finally Getting Rid of All the Troubles

   It has been almost a month since our dark encounter with Sheldon and his fellow Socs, and I decided to have a girl's night to put it all behind us.
     "I just don't think that I can go all night in the same room with Audrey right now." Jelly said before crunching on some cheetos during lunch period Friday.
     "She's not going to be there Jelly, and I need my drinking buddy." Kit pleaded. Audrey and Jelly have not been on speaking terms since Hunter told Audrey that he slept with Jelly, but I knew for a fact that Audrey was planning on coming, but I decided to go along with it.
   When Jelly arrived and noticed that Audrey had not in fact skipped out on the party, she was a bit reluctant, but I convinced her to stay. We watched scary movies, played games, went swimming, and took silly photos. Dallas was working the late shift and Owen was out for the night, though I'm not sure where, considering all the girls were at my party. We ended up making margaritas and playing strip poker, but after a half hour of Dawn being completely topless, everyone threw their cards in. I felt like drinking, so I broke into Owen's stash in the liquor cabinet, and we all ended up getting crafty and making our own drink mixes. I didn't want to get completely wasted, but I drank enough to find myself dancing on top of the dining room table with Bre, which ended me in falling and hitting my knee on a chair. Everyone was passed out on the living room floor when I was awoken at seven a.m. to the sound of the front door opening. I grabbed a half full margarita glass from the coffee table and took a few swigs before greeting Dal.
     "Hey there handsome." I giggled, stumbling towards the door.
     "Wild party, huh?" Dallas glanced around at all the girls sprawled out on the living room floor.
I threw my free arm around his neck and took another sip of the margarita until he took it from me.
     "I think you've had about enough of that." he said. I giggled again and then squeezed my arms around his torso.
     "Aren't you tired?" he asked. I playfully shrugged. I pulled on his hands, signaling for him to follow me. I started to kiss him passionately while struggling with the doorknob to my bedroom. I pulled his shirt over his head and pitched it behind him into the hallway. He reached around me and opened the door himself. I quickly pulled him inside, shutting the door behind me. He pressed me up against it, one hand propped against the door, and the other running up my thigh, pulling my legs around him.
     "I'm not wearing a bra." I whispered. I wasn't wearing pants either, somehow they never made it back on after strip poker. His hands tugged on each side of my shirt, sending the buttons popping off and hitting things around me. I pressed my bare chest against his as he carried me over to the bed. I laid back, unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them to the floor. He pulled back for a moment, and looked at me.
     "Rhyan...you don't have to do this if you're not ready." He said softly. Then all of the memories came rushing back, pushing through the haziness in my thoughts. This would be the first time Dal and I have been intimate since I was jumped. He had been patient and understood my feelings, and he never pressured me into doing something I wasn't ready to do.
     "I'm ready." I smiled.  

Revenge Doesn't Solve everything!

   Since the incident with Bob, I haven't been able to be alone. Not completely by will, but partly by choice. The only time Dallas left my side, was when he had work and I had school. I think we broke our own record not having sex all week, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, not after such a thing had been violated for me, but Dallas was okay with it. His mind was distracted by thought of sweet, bloody revenge. He had to work the night shift one night, meaning it would be the first time I'd be sleeping alone since the incident. I thought it would be hard, but the moment I closed my eyes, I drifted off. I was on the ground of the vacant lot again. The same Socs surrounded me, and Bob was there, doing the same things he did before. I sat up in my bed, my heart racing, my body in a cold sweat. I laid there for about half an hour before I decided I wasn't going to fall back asleep again. I crept into the bedroom down the hall. Luckily he was alone, and clothed. I quietly slipped into his bed an instantly fell asleep.
   The sunlight hit my face as my eyes blinked open. I found Owen staring at me confused, his head propped up on his arm.
     "It's been a while since you've sneaked into my bed in the middle of the night." He said.
     "I had a bad dream, I couldn't sleep." I said, rubbing my eyes.
     "We're going to get Bob for what he did, Rhyan, I promise you that." His voice was soft.
     "And then what?" I asked.
     "And then Bob Sheldon thinks twice before laying a finger on you ever again." He replied.
Maybe he was right. Maybe it would scar Bob so bad that he would leave me alone, but I kind of took it as a long shot.
     "Are you going to the rumble tonight?" He asked.  I sighed.
     "Yeah, we need everyone we can get.: I heard the front door close from downstairs.
     "That'll be Dallas." I slipped out of bed, and just before making it through the door Owen spoke up again.
     "Rhyan?"
     I turned, "Yeah?"
     "I love you sis." He said.
     "I love you too." I smiled, then headed downstairs.

   We all met up at the Curtis house to gear up for the rumble. Everyone was getting focused while I hid in the corner with Audrey and Jelly. Suddenly, the house started shaking as a familiar roar filled the air. I squinted, glancing through the cracks in the blinds and felt my eyes widen. I marched up to Owen,
     "You invited the sons?" I said in a hushed urgency.
     "We needed more guys, and I knew Jax would come running once he heard what happened to you." He explained before turning and heading outside.
     "That's exactly what I was afraid of." I mumbled to myself.
With every ounce of my being, I did not want to step out that door, but they came all this way and in my defense, so I sucked it up and stepped outside. I was happy to see Chibbs first. If any of them had come, I would've wanted it to be him.
     "How's my girl?" He asked, his arms wrapping around me tightly.
     "Well, if I was any kind of good you wouldn't be here would you?" I said, playing a smirk on my face.
     "We're going to get the guys who did this to you Rhyan." Clay assured.
     "I know you will." Just like they always do. If anyone was a master at revenge, it was the Sons.
I stood as far as possible from Jax, feeling his gaze upon me the whole time. Just when I start to think I put my past behind me, it comes riding back, perched on top of a motorcycle.
   I stood behind my boyfriend and my brother before the rumble officially started.
     "It's a shame that I didn't get to finished what I started." Sheldon's devilish gaze was glued to me. "Why do you hang out with these low-lifes? You're rich...and with a body like that you have everything it takes to be a Soc." he continued.
     "Really? Because from what I'm looking at Socs look like horse's ass." I replied. His gaze narrowed.
     "I'm really glad we got to have that a moment the other day Thatcher, it was nice to feel how wet you got for me." That had done it. Dal and Owen simultaneously collided fists with Sheldon's face.To say that they beat the shit out of Bob would have been an understatement. From what I heard, they weren't quite finished with him. We had planned a victory party at my house after the rumble. It didn't take long for the music to start blaring and the beer to be passed out. I instantly stripped down to my bikini and joined Dawn and Audrey in the hot tub.
     "What happened to your gnome Dawn?" I asked.
     "It shattered over some Socs face." she said, laughing. A little while later I met Dallas leaning against the fence, talking with Tim.
     "Your bruises are already starting to appear." My fingers traced his bare chest.
     "Ah, they ain't nothin'. I'm kinda disappointed I made it out with no broken bones." he said. I glanced across the yard, and met a familiar pair of eyes.
     "I'll be right back." I said, kissing Dallas before I left. I paced slowly to the back porch where Jax was sitting in a patio chair.
     "I was starting to think you were going to go all night without talking to me." He said.
     "Thought it'd be rude not to at least say thanks for coming." I answered.
     "I'm sorry that happened to you Rhyan. I wish I was around to stop it." he replied.
     I sighed. "I'm not your responsibility anymore Jax."
     He pointed across the yard, "Is that Dallas?" he asked. I shot him a confused look, I had never mentioned anything about Dallas to him.
     "Gemma told me." He said. I shook my head. "You got a nice thing here Rhy."
     "Yeah." I smiled. "They're like my family ya know?"
     He glanced in the direction of the other Sons. "You know I do." There was a moment of silence. "It's good to see that you've moved on." he added. I was beginning to think he didn't exactly grasp why I left California.
     "Jax, it wasn't like that. I didn't just drop you guys and trade you for new friends. I never stopped caring about any of you."
     "Even me?" his blue eyes peered up at me, searching for an answer deeper than I had time to give him.
     "Especially you." I confessed. "It just wasn't the life I wanted. It may work for Owen, but not for me." I was telling the truth. I grew to love everyone in the Sons, they were like family to me and I didn't judge them for what they did or the choices they made, but I couldn't be with someone like that anymore. Owen loved it, and I know sometimes he wishes he was in Cali with them rather than here in Tulsa, but I had a new family now. I did move on, and I found where I truly belong. I'm not a part of the Sons, I'm a greaser.
   The party was starting to come to a close around four a.m. when a fight broke out between Hunter, Soda, and Jelly, resulting in ending Soda and Jel's relationship. I wanted to comfort her, but she ran off too fast, and I didn't see her again.
I stood in the doorway of my bathroom, brushing my wet hair and wearing only a towel.
     "Everyone's gone." Dallas said as he stripped off his muddy jeans and plopped down onto the bed. I slipped on a pair of underwear and a sports bra before crawling into bed myself. We both laid on our backs, staring up at the ceiling. Dallas rolled over to face me.
     "Rhyan...would it help to talk about exactly what he did to you? Ya know, they say it's best not to keep these things to yourself..." He spoke softly. I closed my eyes and waited for about thirty seconds before answering.
     "Two guys, out of nowhere, pinned me to the ground, trying to keep me still. And at first I didn't understand what they were doing, because they weren't directly trying to inflict pain...until Bob shoved his hand in my pants, and when he couldn't get it far enough he flipped out a switch and cut my jeans off of me." I swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears developing in my eyes. "The socs holding my arms each grabbed and leg, spreading them apart...and then he shoved his fingers in..hard, numerous times..." I chewed on my lips, "...and at one point his tongue, maybe even teeth, it hurt, and the worst part was that I couldn't do anything about it." A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. After Dallas didn't answer, I tilted my head to look at him. His eyes were watery and I could tell it gave him even a bigger hatred for Bob, but there was also a deep sympathy in his expression. Dallas Winston hardly, if ever, cried. He pressed his forehead against mine, stroking my cheek with his fingers.
     "I will never let anything like this happen to you again Rhy...I swear to God..." he said before gently kissing my lips.
     "I know." I said, and I believed him with every ounce of my being.

   I awoke the next morning and every muscle in my body ached. It took all of my effort just to get out of bed. I found Dallas downstairs making pancakes.
     "Ooh, babe, you don't look too good." He commented, noticing my entrance. I glanced at the mirror that hangs on the wall above the dining room table.
     "Damn!" I said loudly, noticing the dark bruises on my face and shoulders. I lifted my shirt to find even more on my abdomen.
     "I feel like I was hit by a car." I said, plopping into the nearest chair. After eating, I didn't want to do anything but sit on the couch. I flipped through the television channels and found nothing. Knowing that I did not have a movie I wanted to watch, I headed upstairs to Owen's room.
     "Owen, I'm getting one of your movies." I shouted to him in the kitchen. He had just found the pancakes. His room smelled of doritos and ass cheeks. I glanced through the movies on his book shelf as well as the ones scattered on his desk. I picked up a disk and flipped it over in my hand. It was blank, so I figured it was one of our old home videos of when we were little. I popped it into the DVD player in the living room and pressed play. Three guys popped up, standing in Owen's room and wearing only underwear and sombreros, and singing to Celene Dion's "My Heart Will Go On". Those three happened to be Soda, Steve, and TwoBit.
     Dallas laughed. "Is this from last night?"
     "Looks like it." I said, smiling at their stupidity.
The scene suddenly changed and the room grew dark. There were two people tossing around on the bed.
     "Owen!" I shouted, "You made a sex video?"
He appeared, shoving a biscuit in his mouth, staring at the T.V.
     "That ain't me." he pointed out.
I looked closer and saw the familiar blonde curls dancing on the screen.
     "Oh my God, that's Audrey."
     "Well who is she with?" Dal asked. Considering that there was something going on between her and Hunter, I figured it would be him, but once that long brunette hair flashed across my vision..my mouth dropped to my feet.
     "HOLY SHIT!" All three of us said at the same time.
     "Jelly and Audrey?" Owen shouted.
I jumped up from the couch and pressed eject on the dvd player. After that we all just glanced around the room awkwardly, not saying anything.
     "This does not leave this house." I pointed my finger at both of them.
Audrey and Jelly had made a sex tape.    

Dark Side of the Moon

   Yesterday the guys all decided to go to the rodeo, which us girls aren't usually opposed to, but Kit suggested we take a chance to escape all the testosterone and have a girls day out. This of course included mall shopping, dinner, then finally a movie. It was already dark by the time we left the movie house, so we split up depending on who lived closest to one another, and headed home in groups. Kit, Dawn, and Bre went their own way, leaving me, Jelly, Audrey, and Blair walking home together. We made a short cut through the vacant lot, feeling safer after crossing into our own territory. Blair and Jelly stopped for a smoke, while Audrey and I lingered around to goof-off and talk. I suddenly noticed the dark, empty mustang parked across the street, but before I could say anything two guys were on me, pinning me to the ground. I threw my limbs all over the place, hoping I was too spastic for them to grasp a hold of, but they manages anyways. Two more socs had Blair pinned down a few feet away from me, and a few more held off Audrey and Jelly who were screaming vulgar things at them. It took me a minute to realize that Bob Sheldon was one of the guys holding me down. I wasn't really grasping the point of all this, I mean, they weren't exactly beating on us. Yeah, I'd probably have some bruises from the struggle, but there was no sign of intentional pain. I didn't understand, until Bob had my legs spread and was unbuttoning my pants and ripping them off of me. He shoved his fingers in places that I would never dare give him the permission to touch. He was very rough, and honestly, it hurt, and I could tell I was bleeding. I knew if I screamed loud enough, someone from the gang was bound to hear me. It frustrated me to the verge of tears. One of the people I hated most was violating me in the worst way possible. It sickened me, and I was sure I'd soon throw up, or at least black out. I was hoping for the latter, because if he was going to take it any further, I'd rather be knocked out for it. Bob had his pants undone and was just starting to pull it out when I saw lights flashing in my peripherals, hearing sirens in the distance. The cop was enough to scare the Socs away, he sped off after them. It only took another moment for the steady beat of footsteps to reach us. I was gagging and crying so hard it blurred my vision, and I didn't notice Darry was carrying me until we reached the front yard of the Curtis house, where the guys were spilling from their cars, just returning from the Rodeo.
     "What the hell happened?" TwoBit's voice rang loudly off the pavement, as he ran to Audrey who was cradling Blair in her arms. Jelly explained the situation. Dallas emerged, pulling me from Darry's arms in an instant. I suddenly felt exposed, I looked down and saw that I was only wearing purple frilly, blood stained, underwear on my lower half. I think I was in shock, because I suddenly couldn't recall emotion.
     "Where are my pants?" I asked, confused.
     "Oh, Rhyan...they're in shreds." Darry said sympathetically.
Then it hit me, and tears flooded my eyes. Dallas pulled me to his chest. Kit interrupted us, handing me a pair of her shorts. I suddenly remembered that Blair was a second target. Oh No! I thought loudly to myself. I looked around, and found her hiding in the shadows of her brother and sister. I assumed that any progress that I had recently made with her, was now shot to hell. Dallas cursed so loud, I was sure even the south side could hear it. He placed his hands on either side of my face, looking at me, but I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye, not after what had just happened. I felt too vulnerable, dirty, abused.
     "I swear Sheldon's ass will pay for this." Dallas was so mad he was shaking.
     "You sure as hell go that right." Owen appeared from behind me. He placed a hand on each of my shoulders, looking me in the eye, once again, my vision darted away.
     "Are you alright?" He asked.
Normally I'd say yes, regardless of my true feelings, but this time I couldn't even lie. I just stared at the ground and shook me head no. Darry kicked the curb.
     "That's it! I'm calling it." He said. "Vacant lot, Friday night. They're gonna get what's coming for them."
Finally...a rumble.