What Will You Hide Behind, Once the Darkness Fades?

    "So how was California?" Dallas asked, just after waking up. I straddled him, my fingers tracing his bare chest.
    "Like a living hell." I said.
    "How'd you get that?" He traced my bottom swollen lip with his thumb. "And this?" he added, lifting up my shirt and exposing the cut across the middle of my abdomen. "Did a guy do this to you? Cause I'll fly to Cali right now and kick his ass."
    "Actually, I beat the shit out of this girl." I wasn't trying to brag, but to word it any differently would be an understatement. "I guess all those lessons you gave me paid off.
He looked surprised.
    "Really? Cause that is very sexy..." he grinned.
 I sighed and leaned down, my face close to his, and my fingers running through his hair.
    "I missed this." I said.
His hands stroked my hips.
    "So did I." He replied.

   I hardly left Dally's side all weekend, even when he was at Buck's working, I sat at the bar while he sneaked me drinks, and occasionally kisses. It felt as if spring break was weeks ago, because the haze of emotions that so directly controlled my actions was completely gone, and I was once again living in a bliss.
I returned to school Monday, feeling an extra 'pep in my step'. I found the girls at lunch, and took a seat next to Jelly.
    "Hey guys!" I said, before chowing down on a sandwich.
    "You sure look happy." Dawn said. I was a little embarrassed by my emotionally unstable week in California.
    "I am happy." I said, shrugging my shoulders. "I'm sorry you had to see that last week...I had a lot to deal with." I explained, mostly to Dawn and Audrey. I felt like I was literally a PMS'ing nutcase over break, and I hated them seeing me that way.
    "Crazy ex-boyfriend, screwed up brother, run in with an old psycho best friend? I don't see how you still have hair left on your head." Dawn teased. "And to watch you unleash it all on that bitch's ass was quite entertaining."
 
   The bell rang signaling the end of the school day and I found Kit, Dawn, Jelly, and Audrey waiting for me in our usual spot in the parking lot. We car pool everyday in order to save gas.
    "Oh, you guys go ahead, I have a ride." I said, hearing the motorcycle in the distance. They looked at me puzzled, I had forgotten they didn't know Dallas and I were back together. A second later he pulled up, saying something to the girls. I kissed him, then hopped on behind him, I flashed the girls a smile and we sped off.
   Dallas had to work the night shift that night, as he did every Monday night, and Owen was....elsewhere. I was flipping through the television channels when I heard screaming outside. I peered out the window to see Blair running down the street in a panic. By the time I had reached her, she was sitting on the ground, her face buried in her knees.
    "Blair?" I knelled down and laid a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"
    "She's hurt, I can't find her but someone has to help her." She replied.
    I stared at her confused. "Blair, there's no one else here....just us, why are you screaming?" I noticed the fresh cut forming on her wrist.
    "Sometimes when I close my eyes, I pretend it's alright....but it's never enough." She answered.
She was really starting to freak me out. I understood she was hurt, I didn't know why, but all that mattered was that she was hurting, and desperately needed help. We all consider Blair to practically be mute, because she hardly ever talks, but perhaps that wasn't the case at all. Maybe Blair was talking....but no one simply took the time to listen.
    "Blair, you can't keep bottling it in like this, it'll just continue to eat away at you till there's nothing left." I said in a soft voice.
    "Don't you get it?" her voice raised. "Why should I care when there's nothing worth living for?"
That broke my heart. No matter how bad life gets, or how rough it may be, there's always something waiting on the other side, something worth all the pain and struggle.
    "How can I show you?" I said, mostly to myself. "Blair, I don't want to leave you here by yourself, you can come to my house, no one's home." I offered.
Surprisingly she stood to her feet.
    "C'mon." I said, placing my hand on her back.

    "Do you want to watch a movie?" I suggested, trying to get her mind off things. "We have on demand..with all the new releases."
She just sat on the couch, tears streaming down her face, and nodding.
    "Here," I handed her the remote, "scroll down and choose a movie. I'm going to put a pizza in the oven."
About ten minutes later I returned to the living room, handing her a coke, and I noticed "Life of Pi" was playing. The whole night we just sat and watched new movies, and ate pizza, and we only ever spoke just one other time, in the middle of the movie.
    "I slept with Dallas." She said, catching me off guard.
    "I know." I said calmy.
    "I'm sorry...I just owed him for something, it didn't mean anything." She was babbling.
I moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her, pushing her head to my shoulder.
   "It's okay." I said.
That was it, nothing more, nothing less, but it was all I asked for, and little did I know, we were starting a tradition.