Chasing Pavements

   That last day of school hung in the air like a dark cloud. It was like those awkward break ups that leave the other person wondering why. Most teenager would be thrilled that the last week of school was canceled, but the circumstances left more of a horrific impression than a positive one. Once Pony was in recovery I thought it was good to pay him a visit. Besides Jelly and Audrey, Pony and I were the only ones in the gang who faced any immediate danger, and I was so thankful that everyone made it out okay.
     "How you doin Pones?" I asked, handing him the string to the Pony-shaped get well balloon I happened to come by at the store.
     "I'm alright. It could be worse." He said.
     "Got that right. Did you happen to recognize who it was?" I ended the sentence with a heavy note, making sure it would linger.
     "If I did I can't remember...PTSD or something." He answered. "Could be a soc.."
     I shook my head, "I don't think it was a soc, he shot and killed of them in my class."
     Pony's eyes darted to mine. "You saw them?"
     "Yeah, three of them barged right in, in the middle of Gatsby. Had a gun pointed at Jelly, Audrey, and I, till the cops interrupted." A shiver ran through my body.
     "I had no idea anyone else was affected." He sounded surprised.
     I shrugged. "The important thing is that we're all okay and you focus on getting better." I gave him a quick friendly kiss on the cheek before leaving.

   I entered the house with the relief that Dallas was waiting for me. He's been my light while I've wondered in the past few months of darkness, and his presence alone made me feel aglow. With my recent near death experience, I told myself that I wasn't going to waste any more time. I had to tell him exactly how I felt about him.  I headed upstairs to my room, but when I opened the door I saw that Dallas wasn't alone. He had Scarlett pressed up against the wall with his pants unbuckled and holding her hands intensely. My purse and keys dropped to the floor as I stumbled over them and down the stairs. I heard foot steps chasing after me, as well as my name being shouted repeatedly, but it was all drowning out. I was out the front door and sprinting so hard I was sure to stumble over my own feet. You knew it was coming Rhyan. You knew what you were getting yourself into that first night when he saved you from the lake. Are you really that surprised? Are you really that stupid? Honestly, I'm surprised he lasted this long, it was just a matter of time. I couldn't stop the wave of thoughts that came crashing over me, nor the tears that escaped down my cheeks. I ran as hard as I could, until my legs gave out and I was crumpled up on the deck sitting on the lake out past the train tracks. My lungs burned, at least I think it was my lungs, it was hard to differentiate between that and the breaking of my heart. You knew he didn't love you. He's Dallas Winston...sleazy and easy, with a hatred for everything and everyone. Why would you be any different? You're just a stupid girl. I couldn't keep the thoughts from running through my head. They forced their way in like a poison, until I couldn't take it anymore and coughed my guts up on the deck. I didn't know what to do, or where to go, or who to talk to, so I did the only thing I could during in times like this. I danced. When I had no one and nothing to pour my heart into, I poured it in to dancing. I had been a dancer ever since that first day of ballet class when I was four years old. My mom loved to watch me dance, it was her most favorite thing. Of course now, I wasn't that little ballet girl, I took classes all the time in Cali. I had professional one-on-one dance instructors. I even competed in a few competitions, and was part of many recitals. Dancing was always there whenever and where ever I needed it. I could hear the music in my head as my body moved about rhythmically. About an hour passed till I finally calmed down enough to think straight. I paced back home, letting off the last of my steam. I was hurt, pissed, and frustrated to no end. I wanted to beat the shit out of that bitch that I'm forced to call family. I wanted to leave a nasty mark on the side of Dallas's face, giving him a taste of the pain that I was feeling. But most of all, I wanted to know why. I peeled out of the driveway in my bright red 67' Chevelle. I knew he'd be at Buck's by now, working the night shift. I sped down the highway. The night sky closed in around me, and fog crept up in the distance. I don't care if he cheated, I still have to tell him that I love him.